Just wanted to say hello to all the Canadian readers and congratulate you for the fact that in the last seven days, you have exceeded the number of readers from the United States! I have no idea what’s going on up there that might precipitate this honor, but so glad to have you.
Holidays do spark more information seeking into the topics here. Christmas and Easter can be stressful times for those in the Torah observant lifestyle, and more so for all those around them who are not. I can remember not knowing how to deal with family who didn’t understand our convictions about obedience to God. And now I can only imagine what we put them through. I get a little taste of it from listening to other people’s stories.
Our last Passover Seder was 2007, if I remember correctly. Shortly after this, we broke the news to our fellowship that we were leaving. Those were agonizing weeks. I wish that we could have somehow remained in community with our dear friends – but we were drastically delivered and could no longer walk down that road at all. Our fellowship was based on a lifestyle and specific days on a calendar. I hate that this wall of separation came between us and Jesus was not enough to hold us all together. I take equal fault and blame no one.
Looking back I do wish we had been able to maintain better connections – but we were in such a drastic state of change and renewal ourselves our heads were spinning. The best counsel I can give to anyone dealing with Observant friends or family is to love them with as much love as you can. We wanted to please God, and we started down that road with a sincere heart. We later became polluted with blinding pride, but so many in this movement are at the core – hungry for God’s love. Our group was named “Know Him” (in Hebrew) and we often spoke of “drawing near”. We wanted so badly to be pleasing to God and be special to Him. So many who do not receive a nurturing father love in their lives, believe this is how they must approach their heavenly Father as well. We have found this pattern to be extremely consistent. Our deliverance came shortly after a huge emotional breakthrough and working through some forgiveness issues. Of course every story is different, but we have seen this very common pattern both while in the Movement, and in talking to others since leaving. Love hunger drives people to many addictions and obsessions. Religion (as opposed to Life in Faith) suffices well in this case, and attempts to fill those core bankruptcies. But there never seem to be enough books, videos, or finding that level of obedience that gives you the feeling of acceptance or having “arrived”. We see 101 ways we fall short every day. I struggle not to live there, bound to my unique brand of legalism in my own expectations.
We so easily become bogged down in theological arguments (and yes – that was the motivating factor in even starting this blog) that we miss the Life in the Promise. Our hearts are so easily distracted from this and drawn away into pursuits that excite the senses yet dull the spiritual connection with our Creator. We love a secret, hidden meanings, thinking we have re-discovered suppressed truth, and having a unique message. People get so obsessive, even about orthodox theological positions, let alone “heretical” ones. What is it about human opinions and knowledge that we find so much more satisfying than being with Jesus? I still struggle with these things that want to draw me away.
This Resurrection Season – and 8th Day – I pray to be less distracted and stressed, and to become more aware of the Life that is in me, and around me. We have before us two choices every day to walk in – that which pertains to Life, and those things which are already dead and passing away. Choosing Life is so much more than the right vote at the ballot box. I find more and more it means my death. So He can live.
He is Risen! May it be so in my life too.
8thDay4Life 
Thanks again for an inspiring and thought-provoking post. I’m curious as to why you no longer ‘do’ Passover – is it because of the legalism you were caught up in previously? We didn’t have a Seder this year but found the one last year we had at home very rich in meaning. I guess the problem is when you feel like you _have_ to celebrate it and it has to be a certain way, or that one earns some kind of spiritual brownie points from observing it. I love how you keep pointing back to Jesus. It really is all about him. I am painfully aware of my spiritual pride and how I look at others and judge them. May we grow into Him more and more and be His ministers of reconciliation to the world. God bless.
Amen and Amen to that prayer Johanna. I need it daily as well, and yes, it is all just HIM. Passover is and can be a beautiful celebration centered on Christ. It may be one of the most beautiful opportunities in genuine Jewish evangelism (which we were not doing). But it’s still a picture of Jesus in shadows, not the reality. All of this was to draw people forward to see Him, not for us to 2000 years later believe we must look backward and find the Jewish Jesus. We already had Him but were led to believe we didn’t have the real one, or all of Him. The more people focus on the shadows, the less of Him they see, and the shadow becomes a god. And yes for us the whole Torah observance lifestyle had become a form of idolatry. We had to walk away. Not that I would never attend another one – but with an entirely different outlook of course. Even as a cultural thing, for Jewish people themselves, I believe the bondage of law is a potential trap even for them (as the testimony posted here of a Jewish believer explains). As soon as this gels in my mind better, I am hoping to write about cultural identities, and spiritual identities. But I’m going into new territory there and not all the pieces have fallen into place in my understanding yet. I have more to learn all the time.
Thank you dear lovely lady, your love for our Risen Lord and love and untiring patience for His people including those struggling is so poignant and profound, I know I am not alone in thanking Him for you (and JGIG). And thank you to Johanna in New Zealand for also responding to your post, how good of her to also point out what the rest of us are seeing in you continually – that, although you have been through so much, you continue to focus on our Lord Jesus, our Life, the Reality of the shadows. May our Lord bless you tenderly and richly.
Thank you Gracie!